Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell? It took her two weeks to realize she wasn’t at work!
You know you’re a nurse if…
- You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley.
- Your sense of humor gets more warped each year. Almost everything can seem humorous…eventually.
- You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.
- You wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom.
- You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know.
- You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.
- Discussing bodily fluids over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
- You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
- You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.
- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if you say, “It’s unusually quiet around here today”.
- You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say “I have no idea how that got stuck in there”.
- Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.
- You live by the motto “To be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult.”
- You’ve told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help.
- Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago’s water tank.
- You find yourself checking out other customer’s veins in grocery waiting lines.
- You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you’ll have to do CPR on your day off.
- Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.